Stephanie Rollins

Stephanie is a bright manager of a small department in the company who is learning how to manage projects the right way and is routinely fed up with how projects are managed at Lonegan Enterprises. Stephanie battles with the boobs, goof offs, dolts and incompetents and wants responsibility for a project so she can show them the right way to do one.

Anthony Schmerls

Anthony is the company's accounting manager who drives a stylish red Porsche at company expense but nickels and dimes everyone else’s expenses and purchases. Anthony's quickly buries his project assignments under a ton of irrelevant and worthless data which paralyzes his efforts.

Gilbert Blessing

Gilbert is the company's technical guru and is frequently asked by Mr. Lonegan to head up projects which instantly become buried in technical minutia that no one but Gilbert understands. The result is projects that produce nothing of value but which are late and over budget.

Wendy Harpsichord

Wendy heads the company's Information Systems department and is a brilliant political infighter who wins battles despite launching systems without the benefit of user manuals, documentation or testing. She shoots from the hip on system completion dates she never hits and provides Lonegan Enterprises with almost none of the benefits of automation.

May Rosenberg

May is the company's Human Resource director who not only enforces every possible company and governmental regulation but also enforces every politically correct cause that she can find. Aside from issuing a never ending stream of warnings and rules, May spends all of her time sympathizing with poor performers, slackers, and goof-offs whom she thinks are victims of ruthless capitalism.

Charity Humdinger

Charity is the company's Sales director and an outspoken critic of all other departments whom she thinks are out to sabotage her sales team. That is not a paranoid fantasy because everyone dislikes Charity and they are out to bring Sales down.

Gage Trumble

Gage manages the company's production and service operations with threats and intimidation. He rules his turf like a feudal lord and brooks no interference with the serfs who works for him. A plodding thinker, Gage has not had a new idea since the 1960s and believes that no one else has either.

Veronica Slider

Veronica is a management consultant hired by Mr. Lonegan months ago who hangs around the company seeking assignments for which she can overcharge the company. Veronica has no technical skills, poor judgment, bad taste and is willing to take on any assignment for which she can be paid.

Mr. Lonegan

Mr. Lonegan is the company president and a project sponsor who believes in starting work instantly on projects and figuring out the purpose and plan as we go. He demands impossible due dates but refuses to answer any questions about what he wants because he usually doesn't know.

Agnes Pon

Agnes is a long-time employee and spies on other employees for Mr Lonegan seeking to protect her privledged position, which is difficult because she does little work.